Specializing in: Sock puppetry, existential dread, and the meaning of life.
Expert in: Bubblegum divination, fortune-telling, and the art of making a good first impression.
Specializing in: Cloud-gazing, crystal ball-reading, and the art of finding the perfect shade of gray.
Each of our prophets has a unique skillset and area of expertise. Don't believe the hype, but they're all 100% correct... probably.
Visit our about page for more information.
Or, if you will, our contact page to schedule your appointment with a prophet.
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try our Prophet Roulette to see who you'll get!